Oh These, Those Stars of Space!

Sep 17/2023

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  Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) is-what else?- dreaming, when he summoned by former foe Snoozebo (Joe Lepore) of the Cavalier to aid him in a dangerous quest to save the Dream Realm. And who shall Rip turn to in this dark hour? Why, Deremeth (Ali Fisher) and Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) are free!Join our Patreon[...]
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  When the Cavalier receives a mysterious distress signal, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) head to investigate a derelict ship. But do they have the experience and maturity needed to uncover its secrets? Or will they gain it extremely quickly?Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including[...]
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  When Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) brings Scandal (Carly Monardo), Groomda (Tim Platt), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher) to the idyllic world of Jessbo-2, all he can hope for is that the Jessbens have totally normal laws that none of the crew violate!To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our[...]
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  Just when he thought it was safe in the Galaxy, Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) arrives in his personal hell. Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher) investigate a series of strange disappearances on the planet's only settlement.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for[...]
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  Spring has sprung, so it's no better time for a seasonal special, baby!! Join Joe, Ali, Chris, and Branson as they draft their dream Trek bridge crew, chat about Vulcans, oh and make one incredible surprise announcement. Don't miss it!TREK DRAFT RULESThis will be a snake draft.You will draft a crew of 7 officers to[...]
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  When Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) is tasked with planning the Bachelorette Party for Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), she naturally invites Meredith's best fried, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt). But when Gelmire agrees to be 'just Meredith's friend' for the weekend, will an alluring suitor (Joe Lepore) come between them?You heard right!  The whole cast is doing[...]
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  When the CSS Cavalier crosses paths with a centuries-old human spacecraft, Groomda (Tim Platt), Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) lead the investigation. But what if, there in strange spacebound time capsule, there was a still-working cryopod, preserving an ancient spacefarer? What secrets could they share of the past? What horrors?You heard right![...]
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  What would happen, one wonders, if that villainous mastermind Darkly Gameover (Joe Lepore), hacked into the CSS Cavalier holozone to create a series of deathtraps to test Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher)? Would they rise to the occasion? Would they get stuck in the first deathtrap and in the interest of[...]
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  Reeling from the events of last episode, Begonia Bloodterror (Chris Hastings) and his time-travelling companions Vee (Carly Monardo) and Oberon Coaxial (Branson Reese) race across dystopian Antarctica to stop Begonia's son's evil plan. But will the aid of a shocking ally be enough to help save the day? All this and the continuing adventures of[...]
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  When ship's Tactician Begonia BloodTerror (Christopher Hastings), is brought to the future by some time-lost compatriots Vestavi-er, Vee, and Oberon Coaxial (Carly Monardo and Branson Reese), his hopes for a wonderful utopia are dashed. No, I'm afraid the future is not a wonderful utopia, dear listener- it's a bad *dystopia*!! But what is Begonia's personal[...]
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  When Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher) are summoned to their High School reunion, will they recapture the glory of youth? Rekindle old flames? Discover childhood secrets? All that and more??? PLUS: Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) seeks professional advice.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for[...]
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  In order to pass through a dangerous Correxian checkpoint, the CSS Cavalier is shrunk down to the size of a coin, and escorted secretly by Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese). With the lives of everyone aboard the ship in their literal hands, will Dewey and Klaus rise to the occasion? Or[...]
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  When Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), get stuck in a hyperlift aboard the CSS Cavalier, everyone decides to do the sensible thing and calmly wait until help arrives. Or do they???Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only.[...]
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  It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's a podcast!It's the end of the year, and as we kick back and relax, Joe, Carly, and Tim gather round that cosmic fire with a mug of hot cocoa and DRAFT THEIR FAVORITE ALIENS. Who will have the best crew of creatures from beyond the stars when the[...]
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  When Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Ship's Cat Chestershire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese), need emergency shuttlecraft repairs on the abandoned mining planet SilvGold-7, they find themselves in a *gulp* ghost town. But surely the local legend of a ghostly miner who haunts the mines is nothing more than a spooky[...]
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  It seems like a pretty typical day for the CSS Cavalier's chief scientist/tentacle monster Groomda (Tim Platt), until a mysterious figure from Groomda's past (Christopher Hastings) arrives to call him home. Will he leave his new life behind? Meanwhile, can Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) win the heart of Princess Tyrexibeth??Join our Patreon now for tons[...]
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  The holidays have arrived at the CSS Cavalier, so naturally Ship's Event Planner Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) is on hand to host a preview of Delicious Donald's (Branson Reese) latest wintertime confections. But when adorable orphan Boboli (Carly Monardo) notices something strange about Guy Normal, well, who knows what could happen! I can't believe we[...]
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  Sometimes, dear listener, family reunions aren't 100% joyful. I know this may come as a shock to you, all the more reason you'll relate to Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), when she's visited by her twin siblings Bester Meth (Branson Reese) and Hester Beth Chesterfield (Carly Monardo), who come bearing bad news. For a hint as[...]
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  When Guy Normal (Branson Reese), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Boboli (Carly Monardo) settle in for a peaceful night's sleep, little do they know they are about to embark on an adventure, not across space, but across the very dreamscape!Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for[...]
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  When our three Mages- Deremeth (Ali Fisher), Werimether (Christopher Hastings), and Jodge the Middle Mage (Carly Monardo) find themselves sent to a planet torn by war can they help its people recover and rebuild? Or will they just get wrapped up in squabbles about Luck Magic? Also Kwoo (Joe Lepore) shows up. Wait-Kwoo? THEE KWOO?[...]
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  By the end of this episode, you'll be like "Rip Van Winkle? More like Rip...Van...Twinkle Toes!"DRAMATIS PERSONAEBubbsriel (Carly Monardo)Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings)Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt)To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons[...]
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  Down on an alien world, ambitious ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), finds himself on a bit of a wild Goose chase when trying to form a Triumvirate of Guys with Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings). Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher) try to bond as only a[...]
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  Even Groomda needs a break sometimes! Instead of a classic These Those adventure, Joe "Close Encounter" Lepore, Christopher "Area 51" Hastings, and Branson "Little Green Man" Reese are getting together to discuss the possibility of life...out there. And don't worry, they don't go on any tangents!Unrelated, here are the two weird TCM specials Warren Beatty[...]
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  When Gelmi-ahem, Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) is invited to an exclusive dinner party at the mansion of video game madman Darkly Gameover, how can he say no? And who better to bring along than Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) and Werimether (Christopher Hastings)? And who said anything about murder?Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including[...]
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  Ship's Junior Mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo) discovers the perfect wedding gift for Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher)-  Azure Skyberries from the cloud planet Cirri-7, which are in season for the first time in 500 years! But who will guide them to retrieve this gift? Perhaps the enigmatic Oberon Coaxial (Branson[...]
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  When a Vanguard Tentacle Expert arrives on the ship, Groomda (Tim Platt) can't be far behind. And when that Tentacle Man has an old friend aboard- Helmsman Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) can't be far behind either. And when a weird asteroid crashes into the ship? Well that rock's mysterious passenger (Carly Monardo) absolutely cannot be[...]
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  Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Begonia (Christopher Hastings) are put off at first when they meet the grim and mysterious photographer Lestecheth Feldermeld (Ali Fisher). But don't worry! Her camera reveals the specter of death 😀 
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  Sacre Bleu...cow?? When Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), grizzled veteran Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese), and ship's Translator Très Bien (Tim Platt) meet for a pleasant evening at the CSS Cavalier's Bowling Alley, they'll unfortunately have to take a raincheck for the 'pleasant' part. Because something very strange is going on with the rest of the crew.[...]
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  When Junior Mortician Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Ship's Agent Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), and Mage of Ill Portent (Christopher Hastings), find themselves on the bridge of the CSS Cavalier, we can only hope they won't be called upon to save the ship in a moment of crisis. They are not equipped to take that kind of[...]
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  When plucky Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), ship's ENT Dr, Dewey (Chrisopher Hastings) and junior mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo) take in the many constellations from the CSS Cavalier's Observation Deck, it's sure to be an evening full of stars. But the stars are even closer than they think, when a mysterious traveler comes aboard[...]
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  When the Flora Regnant of Angio Prime falls gravely ill, ship's tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is whisked away from the Cavalier for what can only be an impending funeral. But when we're talking kings and sucession, even he can't be caught unawares! For aboard this flowering starship are Hellebore (Carly Monardo) and Magentena Chokevenom[...]
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  On a critical mission for the CSS Cavalier, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and his bodyguards Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity Mesterfield (Ali Fisher) have nowhere to turn but to an old friend: Xander Mercutio, governor of the Ring City of Relzax. Not only is he willing to help our heroes, he's coincidentally just made[...]
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  Having finally earned a promotion, Ensi-er, Lieutenant Junior Grade Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) leads a crack team including Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings) and ship's chocolatier Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) down to Marsus-4 for an away mission. But will they find the galaxium they're looking for? Or will they find lots of marvelous treats for Delicious Donald[...]
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  50th Episode! When a mysterious warning is issued for Deck 52, brothers Rupert (Christopher Hastings), Dupert (Carly Monardo), and Poopert (Branson Reese) take the case! But are they in over their feathered heads?Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to[...]
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  When a mysterious door appears before three Cavalier crewmembers, they find themselves freed from the hustle-bustle of the galaxy. Each is faced with a momentous choice. Will Werimether (Christopher Hastings) choose to live as a Mage of Good Fortune? Will Groomda (Tim Platt) find love? And will ship's Actor Hercules EGOT (Branson Reese) find a[...]
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  It's probably Gelmire.With Ali Fisher as Charity Mesterfield, Branson Reese as Guy Normal, Carly Monardo as Scandal, Christopher Hastings as Dr. Dewey, Taylor Moore as Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom, and Tim Platt as *gulp* Gelmire Lysander.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen[...]
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  Every 8 years, the deadliest lifeforms of the galaxy gather to determine the next champion. The Great Tournament is secret. Deadly. Illegal. Kind of hot? Brutal.   Its name is only whispered, for fear of a karate chop to the skull. That name? FIGHTSTAR. *Thwack* *Narrator Dies* This years combatants? Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese). Groomda (Tim Platt). Carboat Bin[...]
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  Though beloved members of our heroic crew, sometimes officers Clare President (Taylor Moore) and Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) can feel like outsiders. And when the ship's hot new schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane (Branson Reese) threatens Rip's status as "Ship's Public Domain Washington Irving Character Brought to Life", he starts to wonder, do I belong here[...]
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  Gigantix. The name itself causes hearts across the galaxy to flutter with wonder and adventure. The ship of dreams. The voyager of miracles. The Jewel of the Correxian-Vermont Alliance. The finest and largest starship ever built. On a ship this perfect, they don't even need to bother with escape pods!! [note to self- insert more[...]
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  Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore). Dr. Thomas Dewey (Christopher Hastings). Groomda (Tim Platt). Three of the finest officers to ever serve aboard the Cavalier. Three heroes who have risked their lives to explore the galaxy. Three legends...on a daring quest...for missing stuff.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH[...]
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  A hunt for a fresh navcomputer leads Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) to MaxMax-3, a bleak desert world where only the strong survive. Here, laws and manners have been gutted and left for dead by the side of the road, replaced by steel and leather. And if[...]
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  When the crew of the Cavalier discovers a shipwreck in deep space with ties to their past, you won't be shocked to learned they send an away team to check it out. Including our heroes Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), and Scorpio Ni-Yeer (Branson Reese).  But what happens next?Something you never thought possible. It[...]
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  Ah, Starhaven. A simple, happy community, and the perfect place to raise a family, like loving siblings Groomda (Tim Platt), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese). And don't forget their talking cat, Chestershire (Ali Fisher)! Oh? What's that impossible dream they all shared, of serving aboard a starship travelling across the galaxy?[...]
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  While the crew mourns a fallen comrade, duty still calls for Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Clare President (Taylor Moore). And, with the Cavalier's water reserves running low, they are sent- where else? AQUWORLD. Hope everything goes...swimmingly. To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our[...]
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  Following the discovery of a long-lost android brother, Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings) works tirelessly to revive this unexpected family link, ignoring all distractions, like Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt). But will Threadcount ever find a way to power on his robotic sibling Scion (Taylor Moore)? And will this be a joyous family[...]
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  When their old Professor pays a visit to the Cavalier, Deremith, the Mage of Good Fortune (Ali Fisher), and Werimether, the Mage of Ill Portent (Christopher Hastings) are thrilled to reminisce about their school days. But when little bambino Limoncello (Taylor Moore) enters the picture, surely nothing will go wrong. With all that awesome power[...]
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  Yuletide Kombat Family is a game where holiday themed characters fight to save Christmas. This time, however, the These Those crew puts a whole new spin on the word “SEASON” looooooool! You’ll figure it out once you listen! I love you! Produced [and this episode description written -.ed] by Tim Platt (Baby Groomda, Gene Lime)[...]
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  It's high stakes on the Illegal Moon of Scrutum-6, where adventurers Cheredith Mesterfield (Ali Fisher) and her trusty Spacehorse Scandal (Carly Monardo) make a rendezvous with undercover allies Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore) and Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) on a dangerous mission. But they'll need every bit of luck they can find, if they hope to[...]
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  With errands to run, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore), hope to squeeze in a little fun while on the Gaming Moon of Scrutum-6. Let's just hope there's no one waiting down there with a a score to settle. And no, we don't mean a video game score.[...]
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  When the Cavalier's most-eligible Bachelorette, Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), crosses paths with its most-affianced ensign, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), will Gelmire's love for Meredith Chesterfield be put to the test? And with Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) playing cupid, does Gelmire even stand a chance?  BEEP BEEP!! HOLIDAY MERCH NOW FOR SALE! Check out the amazing Pleasure[...]
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  When a Vanguard Commbadge is detected on the dangerous and mysterious planet Lucifar, it's up to Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), the Cavalier's most devilish crew, to solve the mystery. A mission to the most hellish planet in the galaxy? It's times like this they wish ship martyr Eusebius Carter (Tim[...]
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  When routine maintenance uncovers something deep in the Cavalier's computer core from a fallen comrade, it's up to Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and ship's agent Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) to save the crew from this rogue program. But can even these three get out of such a sticky situation???Join our Patreon now[...]
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  Ship's Tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is a master strategist. But all his plans are thrown out the window when two small urchins, Boboli (Carly Monardo) and Limoncello (Taylor Moore), sneak up from the abandoned alleyways of Deck 31 with ominous news. Can Begonia take on this dangerous test and save the Cavalier? Will Boboli[...]
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  Ship's ENT Doctor Dewey (Christopher Hastings), his wife, Documentarian Ilse Schlacht (Carly Monardo), and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore) are attempting to enjoy some simple shore leave when something unexpectedly *lunar* gets in their way. PLUS: When Ilse gets the call of a lifetime, what changes will it bring??To hear the rest of[...]
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  When the Vanguard receives a surprise message from a reclusive world somehow associated with feet, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), Chestershire (Ali Fisher), Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), and Ship's Cobbler Cargo Pantangelo (Guest Star MATTIE LUBCHANSKY) to crack this high-stakes diplomatic encounter. But in a situation this tense, is the[...]
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  "...Family Members including Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom (Taylor Moore), Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), and Froglevel Casketshowroom (Ali Fisher)."To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now![...]
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  Captured at the end of the last episode, hopes for our heroes grow dim as the clock ticks towards their scheduled rendezvous. Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings), and Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore). Are relentlessly interrogated by Correxian agents, including some...familiar faces? It will take a miracle, or maybe an old friend,[...]
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  Behind Enemy Lines, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) leads a crack team including telepathic agent Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings) and mild-mannered, innocent vape salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore) to uncover a Correxian propaganda plan. But when things start going off the rails, can young Gelmire keep his team alive and on track? And what happens[...]
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  PREVIEW: The Vanguard presents gaseous crewmate Clare President (Taylor Moore) with his first opportunity to eat, and along with the meal sends as an emissary Liberty Balboa's  (Branson Reese) old culinary school chum, celebrity chef Guinevere Tot (Carly Monardo). But could a recipe for reconnection and fond nostalgia be curdled by a dash of...ulterior motives?[...]
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  With the Cavalier's Hyperwarp Drive out of commission, grizzled veteran Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore) assembles a crack team including ship's contrarian Scorpio Ni-Yeer (Branson Reese) and legendary napper Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt), to hunt on the surface of a dangerous jungle planet for the phenomenon that's got our ship stuck. But sometimes truth (this[...]
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  After a scheduling error in the holozone leads Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), ship's Pet Chestashire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) into making their own fun, even that is interrupted when our heroes intercept a shocking transmission. But, in order to save the day, they risk revealing their identities to the Correxians[...]
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  When Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and ship's movie critic Shemp Fortunes (Branson Reese), decide to blow off a little steam in the holozone, they think they're in for an afternoon of fun. But when something goes wrong, the ship's computers birth something... spooky, which[...]
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  It's vacation time as the Cavalier makes a pitstop at legendary pleasure planet Xanadu Hard. But when pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) has a dangerous liaison, it's up to him and the ship's mages of Good Fortune, Deremith (Ali Fisher), and Ill Portent, Werimether (Christopher Hastings) to set things right and keep the peace in[...]
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  PART TWO (OF TWO)- Following the shocking events of last episode, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and a critically wounded Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), discover a shocking secret of the Concilium, courtesy of an unlikely new ally (Tim Platt). Meanwhile, their only chance of unshrinking themselves goes missing, setting our heroes on[...]
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  When a routine medical exam goes horribly awry, Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), find even the good doctor's office can be full of danger around every corner! PLUS: The Mystery of What Was in Katya's Ear!Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL[...]
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  While headed off to a routine mission, Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and ship pleasure droid Don Valentino (Branson Reese) disappear! And not in the usual way! In a different, *weird* way! It's up to Clare President (also Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings again), and Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese x2) to find[...]
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  An already exciting occasion in sleepy Hudfar village is made all the more momentous when three mysterious strangers arrive in town. With no knowledge of their true identities, The deathly pallid Bed (Christopher Hastings), beautifully-haired Keith (Taylor Moore), and giant cockroach Garr-gall (Branson Reese), struggle to make sense of their place in this unfamiliar world.[...]
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  When an isolated planet with fantastic technology and beloved wines stands on the brink of destruction, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore), and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) to sit them down and undestruct that brink. Also what's this about a rocket? And a baby?Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff,[...]
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  Far from the the light of the Cavalier, these are those VANGUARD NIGHTS: apocrypha, ephemera, and straight up goofins' "in" the "world" of Oh These Those Stars of Space. As our first Vanguard Night we present to you our 2021 Thanksgiving Hangover Special! The CAST of the show are long dead but their future clones[...]
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  Heads up DUDES! It's the audio from our first (FREE for Patrons)  live stream: MAN MOON RISING. Liberty Balboa, Mitzy, Gelmire, Threadcount and Legs are sent to find a long lost colony on the moon of Testoster 1. But what's this? In the relatively brief time they've been out of contact with the Concilloium, the[...]
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  Hear Ye, Hear Ye! A mysterious structure from the distant past appears off the bow of the Cavalier, and Ensign Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Father Matthew Sagittarius (Christopher Hastings), and Mary (Ali Fisher), decide to investigate. And can Groomda (Tim Platt) quit it with the Halloween preparations long enough to help out??Join our Patreon now for[...]
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  After the first two minutes of this episode, you might think there's nothing but silence for the next 60 minutes. BUT KEEP LISTENING. I promise it's worth it. Hell, maybe Cavvy the Cavalier (Branson Reese), Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom (Taylor Moore), and Groomda (Tim Platt) show up. How?? You'll just have to find out...Join our Patreon now[...]
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  When an old "friend" of Baron Baudelaire interrupts a wedding planning party, Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher) Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and the Baron himself (Taylor Moore) must travel to the speed moon of Vroomex 9 and put their very lives on the line; the FINISH LINE that is! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff,[...]
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  Following a party in the Engine Room, pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) calls Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Threadcount 900 (Christopher Hastings), and rookie engineer Mitzy Festerchild (Ali Fisher), to the bridge to hear a mysterious transmission. When it's decoded, its contents will shock and disturb you. PLUS: Where did Groomda (Tim Platt) go?!Join our Patreon[...]
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  In the middle of rehearsal for a new play, the crew of the Cavalier is blinded by a strange and powerful blast of light from a nearby planet. Can the crew overcome their fear of getting  "goo hole" and investigate its origins? Once those origins are found, will the crew risk it all to do[...]
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  ¡Snagged! In the midst of a security shakedown, the Cavalier is suddenly caught in a vast and mysterious alien artifact. With power reserves dwindling, Threadcount 900 and a trio of potential criminals, (a Space Angel, a bingo caller, and the proprietor of the ship's only for-profit pleasure dome) must journey into harm's way to discover[...]
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  On a routine mission, Capt. Cal Sisters and the crew of the CSS Cavalier are commandeered by a strange being with God-like powers and must make a terrible choice. Can they survive his impossible game? What happens next may surprise you. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH[...]
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  What that show do? How's it gonna work? What's the "deal" with this p'cast? You've got questions and the producers and cast of Oh These, Those Stars of Space have got the answers. One need only listen. Hailing frequencies...open. And the Patreon is LIVE NOW! Join the subscription Vanguard and receive a whole additional episode[...]
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  SOON

Far beyond the frontier of civilized space, sails the starship the CSS Cavalier, manned by her strange and daring crew. Their destination? Adventure. Their cargo? Your dang ears. Their mission? Episodic science fiction comedy at the intersection of Star Trek, Douglas Adams, and the Marquis DeSade. From the same people who birthed unto you the blockbuster true-crime podcast Rude Tales of Magic comes a new and improvised sci-fi (science fiction) delight that has already been banned in most public schools and the Vatican.